The good news first...
The girls got their progress reports today. Fairly typical (for this year) results. All As and Bs for Darby (actually on one B, an 89, so almost straight As), and mostly Bs for Shelby, with a couple Cs.
We also got school picture proofs today. I'll update the album with better pics when I get them.
UPDATE, 9 May 2006
Replaced the proofs today with the actual pics.
As for the bad news....
Darby and Shelby were informed by their mother and step-father this evening that they are getting divorced. The parallel is nearly spot-on, despite everyone's best efforts. I was 4 1/2 when my mother and father divorced, and 11 when my mother and first step-father divorced. Darby was 3 and now 10 respectively (Shelby was 1 and 8).
Shelby took things pretty well, all things considered, as she's rather spock-ish like myself. But Darby took it pretty hard. In fact, when I first saw her after she was told, I gave her a hug and she started crying again immediately. And really, any significant discussion about it and she tears up. So I imagine we'll be dealing with this for some time.
So I have this theory. I feel that the girls were too young and clueless as to what was going on when their mother and I divorced, and so the trauma of this divorce boosted the adverse emotional impact this time around. In other words, while the dam was burst, the old water rushed out with the new. Just a theory. But I have it because I was also very young and clueless during the first divorce, and later had an emotional outburst that I personally (even at the time) attributed to my new found awareness of the implications of my parents divorce. Darby's a smart girl, and a VERY emotional one. I think maybe she connected the dots, too.
That doesn't mean there weren't other (perhaps more significant) factors. The girls were VERY close to their step-father. In fact, as my ex-wife knew him before me, the girls have technically known him all their lives as well. He's been to most, if not all, of their birthday parties, etc. This was no trivial bond to break. He was quite the good friend to the girls. And though I'm sure there will remain a bond of sorts if he keeps in touch over the years to come, clearly there's been damage here today.
I'm sad for my girls. I understand what their going though. Distinctly. And I had long hoped they would never know so blatantly and directly this feeling.
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