I've been fake-numbered

Let's set the record straight right up front. No, I did NOT hit on a girl to then be issued a fake number. Please read on...


So when is it not cool to get a call at 1:47am?
(yes, that's one forty-seven ante meridiem, as in, NOT P.M.)

Okay, okay, it's never all that cool... but when is it especially not cool?

Let me tell you when. Because for once in my life I have the answer.

It's especially uncool getting a phone call at 1:47am when the call is from a guy who is clearly drunk and thinks he's calling your ex-wife because he was hitting on her all night long and, though she's married, she finally succumbed and gave him "her phone number", only to discover it was a "fake number" that, as it turns out, wasn't all that fake because in all actuality it was HER EX-HUSBAND'S CELL PHONE NUMBER.    (dammit)

Very.

Un.

Cool.

(In case you were wondering, or at all unclear on that point)


So here's roughly how it went down...

[ring, ring]
Me: What, the...
[ring, ring]
Me: What time is it? Who the heck would that be?
[ring, ring]
Me: [looking at unrecognized number on caller ID] Who the heck is this?
[ring, ring]
Me: Hello?
Drunk Dude: Is Amy there?
Me: Nnnnnnoo.?.
Me: Why would she be? Wait, Amy who?
Drunk Dude: Um, I didn't get her last name. I met her at a club tonight.
Me: Oh. Well, my ex-wife's name is Amy, so that's who I thought you meant, but surely this is just a strange coincidence.
Drunk Dude: Your ex-wife is Amy?
Me: Well, probably not the same Amy, but... nevermind.
Drunk Dude: So was she at the Blue Note tonight?
Me: Um, well, she's my EX wife so I DON'T KNOW!
Drunk Dude: [click]
Me: [pondering]
Me: [thinking aloud] Come to think of it, I remember Amy saying [her husband] had a show last night. [editor's note: her husband's the lead singer in a rock band]
Me: [while typing address of band website] Well, let's see where the show was...
Me: [jaw drops] OMG. The Blue Note. This can NOT be a coincidence.


So I emailed the ex-wife explaining what went down, and expressing how I hoped this was all some strange, however unlikely, coincidence, though it sure seemed like there was no freakin' way it could be coincidental. I mean, a guy meets an Amy in a club where I'm 100% certain my ex-wife -- also known as Amy -- was located, gets a phone number from said Amy and that number coincidentally turns out to be my cell phone number? There's just no way!

Some time later the ex-wife emails me back, explaining that it was in fact her that gave the number to the guy, but that she thought she gave him a fake number, and that she's not a good liar, and so apparently accidentally gave him a real number that must have somehow been my cell phone number.


Hmmmm.

Still uncool. Every time I think about it.


In a later phone call I told my ex-wife that I was just going to have to blog this experience, that the world simply must know the truth of fake-number collateral damage.




[For the truly sick and twisted:
If you were a sick bastard/ess or were just looking for a good time, you could theoretically call drunk dude at 405-947-9246, and ask for some fake name or other. If you were REALLY sick but also female, you could call and say you were Amy and really have some fun with it. But be forewarned, I speak merely in hypotheticals and don't actually condone the harassment in any way of the probably otherwise swell guy that tried to pick up my presently married former wife. I must also disclaim that I have not independently verified that the noted number is the actual number of the aforementioned drunk dude rather than say a pay phone number or the number of an innocent bystander or local business. Please take all necessary precautions in your theoretical prank calling exploits.]