They just... keep... coming

The things we do for our children.

Last year, it was working concessions for an OU football game. This year, it was working a car wash. I had no great enthusiasm for either sports team fundraising activity, but both were supposedly compulsory. Well, they say that, yet the parents that don't participate are never penalized.

Last weekend we had 70-80 degree weather. This weekend was somewhat milder and I wondered immediately upon the morning temperature check just how bad this was going to be considering it was 53 outside and we were supposed to be working with water soon. Knowing it was supposed to warm-up later I had the girls wear swim suits with shorts and t-shirts on top, but I also brought pants and their jackets. As soon as we got to the car wash location, the girls wanted their pants and jackets on it was that chilly. I wore my jacket for probably the first hour.

At first I didn't think it was going to be too bad a deal because the flow was slow. A few cars here and there. I was hoping the weather kept them away. But the pace picked up steadily and before we knew it we were in car wash hell. Both the ex-wife and I were working this event, and between the two of us it was still difficult to keep an eye on the kids (who were either be washing cars or holding signs by the street... way too close to the street at times) while hastily washing and drying cars.

It got to a point where for probably a few hours there was a constant line of cars (though I heard it was worse down the street at another car wash run by cheerleaders). We got started at 11am, and it was scheduled to run through 3pm. Not a single parent was remotely enthused to be there and we mostly-jokingly contemplated having each parent donate $50 instead of doing this crazy fundraiser. The entire time we were there I didn't sit down once, and my only "break" consisted of walking around with a slice of pizza in one hand.

And then 3pm arrived, with much rejoicing. Only... we didn't stop. I asked if we were going to put up a "closed" sign but they said we'd keep washing cars for as long as they kept coming. Which was so NOT what I needed to hear just then. So we kept washing, much to my dismay. And it didn't get any better. In fact, it got quite bad when a VERY muddy pickup pulled in with a couple of kids that had apparently be muddin' TWO DAYS AGO.

All of the parents stopped washing and stared at the truck in weary awe. "We don't really have to wash that thing, right?" was the repeated sentiment from every parent. But sure enough, we did. At first, it seemed hopeless. The two "garden" variety hoses we had didn't make one dent in that two-day-old mud. AND, all the kids (who had gotten bored with washing cars and were playing) ran over and started scraping the mud out from under the wheel wells and began playing with it. Before long all of the kids were muddy in some way, but that truck wasn't getting any cleaner.

What I didn't know was that one of the parents brought a gas-powered pressure washer, just in case. He went to his truck and got it and we thought the day was saved. But apparently between the time he last used it (the day before) and today, he lost an o-ring, which rendered the unit no more effective on the mud than our hoses. So we stood there futilely spraying down the truck with the hoses (making more wet mud for the kids to play with) while the parent went to a hardware store for an o-ring.

Even once we had a fully functional pressure washer, it took FOREVER to get that truck "clean", AND we were left with a parking lot full of remnant mud, something the property owner was not going be happy with if we didn't clean it up.

So how much beyond the 3pm stated ending time did we continue to wash cars?

Try three hours plus. Shortly after six we were cleaning up (all that mud in particular), but before we could wrap it up and split, another car pulled in. I thought we were going to turn it away, but everyone started grabbing sponges again to my severe disappointment. Seeing that we were still washing cars, another pulled in, and another, and another. I blame it all on the mud. Were it not for the mud clean-up, I think we would have been out of there before that next round of cars. It was 6:45 before we were cleaned-up and out of there. Finally.

Many of the parents went to a restaurant together to get some much needed rest and nourishment while the kids ran around and got in just about everyone's way (waitresses, patrons, you name it). I tried to keep mine as tame as possible, but that was difficult considering all the other kids were quite untame.


Sometime in the middle of the afternoon, the girls started peeling away layers until they were in their swim suits. I brought sunblock, but by the time they were in their suits, I was quite pre-occupied with car washing. Subsequently, the girls got VERY sunburned. Already they are not enjoy that aspect of the day. A little while ago they got done with showers and got in bed and were quite vocal about their wounds.

Unfortunately I can't go around complaining that the whole car wash thing was not a worthwhile fundraising effort. The team pulled in more than $500 that will go towards much needed equipment. Also unfortunately, the parents are already talking about doing another car wash. Personally, I think that's insane. I mean, we need equipment, but I'm thinking the $500 will cover it. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

The day's most ironic moment was when all the parents saw that my car was dirty as we were leaving. Each of them had their cars washed during the day and they asked why I hadn't. I told them I didn't care and didn't want to even think about washing another car -- even my own -- for a very long time.