Stupid Shawn trick

After I picked up the kids from fencing I needed to stop by my dad's, but it was already almost seven and we hadn't eaten yet. So I entrusted our stomachs to the tastily reliable Little Caesar's hot-n-ready (i.e. save your dinnerless butt) pizza solution, something we could grab VERY quickly on the way to my dad's.

I guess they churn those pies out so quickly that they don't have time to cut them well, as I pretty much always find myself re-cutting the slices. Not that I'm complaining, because five bucks for dinner for all three of us is pretty much unbeatable short of being free.

Well, as we were leaving my father's, I grabbed the empty pizza box and threw it into the outside trash can. But instead of hearing just the box land in the bottom of the can (which was emptied by the city that morning), I heard the knife I used to cut the pizza clang around down there as though taunting me. Ugh. I stopped immediately with a look of horror on my face because I knew I was going to have to go in there after it.

It was a scene of total hilarity. My dad came out to help me by holding the trash can tipped over so that I could reach in and get the knife. Only, in his old age, his stomach has gotten weak, so his gag reflex was in high gear as the rotting smell from the trash can wafted up to his nose. I was trying to reach for the knife, my body basically half way into the trash can, holding my breath so I wouldn't have to smell what I was in the middle of, but the knife was barely out of reach. Each time I thought I had it, my dad would gag and move the trash can. This happened several times, to the extent that I started to laugh so hard that I had to abort my excavation twice just to catch my breath. Of course, this prolonged the whole operation, causing my dad to gag further. I swear, for a minute there I thought he was going to barf down my back as I was trying to get the knife out.

Well, I did finally get it out, but man was it caked in the most disgusting goo. Once I regained my composure (because by this point I was in a complete outburst of laughter at my dad -- which I know was a little insensitive, but I couldn't help myself), I took it inside, rinsed it off, and washed my hands in scalding water for about two minutes.

The kids and I then headed home, but I chuckled about what I had done the entire way. It was just such a hilarious scene, I almost wanted to yell for my little brother to grab the camcorder. Part of my amusement was that after the fact I realized we could have just tipped the whole trash can upside down (since it was empty except for the pizza box) and avoided the majority of the fiasco entirely. But then, that wouldn't have been Shawn-like of me, now would it?