Root of my problems

(well, my current problem anyway)


I despise my sewer line. If it weren't already part of its functional description, I would crap all over it.

Of course, if it weren't having such problems, I would praise it for not being dysfunctional. After all, it's in no one's best interest to tick off a sewer line. I mean, you don't want that stuff coming back up on you, right?

So, I've got myself one of the most dreaded problems of home ownership. The very type of problem that makes me want to go back to renting. A blocked up sewere line. Only now it seems to be spiraling into worser levels of suckage.

A number of years ago I had this problem. I paid a noble gentleman (it must take nobility to endure that type of work) to clear out my line and I've worried about it few times since. Not because I had nothing to worry about, but because I'm completely ignorant of such things.

You see, back then, said gentleman described the nature of the issue... roots in my sewer line. It was recommended that I poor a particular toxic substance into my toilet once or twice a year to help quell the problem, but he also said things could be further complicated in years to come. Oh how correct he was.

Today I had another noble gentleman visit the bowels of my dwelling to once again clean out my troublesome sewer line, only to find that, despite his many valiant efforts, he could not. Too much blockage. Probably even an outright broken line.

Oh the dread.


"What, you mean I can't go back to work?" was my immediate response. I would much rather be working than pondering the dread on my face when I envision my future self calculating the total cost of this situation's rectification.

If the line is broken, the cost will be significant. So much for laser eye surgery this year. Plus, it will mean further non-work, at a time when it is quite critical that I in fact be working.

Already I have paid noble gentleman number one for his efforts, yet still have a dysfunctional sewer line. Noble gentleman number two is en route. He will use the miracles of modern technology to insert a camera into places where no one really wants to look but must. If noble gentleman number two determines via (yucky) visual confirmation that my line is quite dead, it will have to be replaced, at great cost of time and money.

I predict many rants to come on this topic. It is, after all, a crappy topic.