(This is in no way a complaint about my children. I have great kids. Read on.)
Four words... "Lay Flat to Dry".
I hate those words. They inspire near-rage deep down inside of me. I want to contact the manufacturers of every piece of clothing in this house with those words printed on them and tell them that if I made clothing for them, the tag would read "go to hell to dry" or "lay flat to kiss my butt". Heck, they would dry faster in hell than the clothes I have laying flat right now.
But this is a "girl" problem. I had this problem when I was married, too. Much of the wife's clothes were LFTD or "wash separately on gentle cycle" or both. I wish I could organize a boycott on these practices.
The trouble is that I have two little girls, and much of their winter clothes are of the LFTD variety. And I just don't have enough surface area to lay everything flat, and I shouldn't have to engineer new surface area acquistion methods to achieve a clean, dry clothing state for my children. This is ridiculous. I have to "schedule" my surface area time between clothing cycles or "throttle-down" the rate at which I wash the clothing of this breed. It must stop.
As a guy, I have never ever ever ever had an item of clothing that was "lay flat to dry". The mens clothing companies know that a guy would never stand for that. If a guy had clothes like that he would lay them flat on a grill or something and light a fire under them. Heck, guys have cool clothing technologies like "wrinkle-free" and "stain defender". Lay flat to dry, give me a break. That's gotta be the lowest tech process in clothing next to being naked. That's like buying a broadband router with a label that reads "light fire and flap rug to transmit". At least with the also rather annoying "dry clean only" label a guy can appreciate that there are complex mechnical processes at work (have you ever seen those machines?) to clean/dry your clothing. But there's no honor in laying something down (after "reshaping" of course) on a qualified flat surface to allow the water molecules to gradually evaporate over a very slow rate of time.
Okay, I think I'm done ranting. I'm going to bed now that my laundry is drying. Or laying flat anyway.
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