What follows is from an ACTUAL tech support ticket that came in today at work. Funny stuff!

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Subject: Need PC Serviced

I need, want, and am begging for a new computer. And I don't want to have to wait for Christmas as I have not been a very good girl. Please oh please!!!! My computer is so slow. And I mean sooooooooooooooooooooooooo slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Sometimes there are complete work stoppages. I have tried rebooting (and I mean several times per problem) and it doesn't do any good. Help me, help me!!??!?!?!?!?!? I literally can't go on this way. If there was a window close by, I would not need your help. Have I made my case crystal clear, if not tune in for tomorrow's "As the World Turns".